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|Monday, June 9, 2008, 7:02:40 AM- Masturbating in Secrecy|
Masturbation is a part of our lives that requires a balancing act, due to the fact that while everyone does it, we can't show it.
At one end, it's the feeling of orgasm that we desire, and the need to express ourselves in a very basic, carnal way. At the other end, we need to maintain a public persona of being "normal", and safe for general audiences.
I like to go through Flickr, and browse the various photo groups, and see pictures of people shoving beer bottles up their asses, peeing into their mouths, or bending over naked in the middle of a Wal-Mart parking lot. You get to see a side of humanity that's real, raw, and straight from the heart.
And then, there are the photos of people at Disneyland, enjoying a day with the family. There's the photos of folks at a sporting event, cheering on their favorite team. Photos of weddings, birthdays, and the time when dad caught a 20 pound bass.
You even look at photos of Barack Obama, and you wonder how many times has he shoved a Budweiser bottle up his ass? You wonder many clothes pins has Hillary Clinton been able to dangle from her cunny lips?
Even myself, blogging behind the veil of Lonely Weenie, I wonder if I am still doing a good job of concealing my identity. I figure I'll never be able to run for public office, because someone out there is smart enough to blow my cover.
Of all the times I've masturbated outdoors, I figure there are photos of me caught in the act that I don't know about. Maybe someone posted them online somewhere, or maybe someone still has them in their personal stash.
While my wife knows most of my masturbatory hijinks, and my fondness for outdoor nudity, how many people has she told this to? Do the friends that I hang out with regularly know stuff about me without my knowledge?
The girls that I've fucked, and the one guy that I had sex with, have they blogged about me, just like I have blogged about them?
Here's another thing, if I was to meet another masturbation blogger, and I introduced myself to him as the guy behind "Lonely Weenie", and then I gave him my cell phone number, that person could run a Google search for that number, and discover my "real life". Basically, I couldn't give them my phone number, unless I established a second phone number, just for Lonely Weenie.
Just like I couldn't drive up in a car, because they could see the license plate, and if they really wanted to, trace that as well.
Someone could look at a photo of my cock, such as the one on this article, and say, "I know that cock!".
I guess this kind of stuff can make you really paranoid.
Read more about me at my other blog...
|Tuesday, March 25, 2008, 6:56:01 AM- My First Gay Sex|
The first and only time I had sex with a guy happened while I was in college. That moment has had a profound effect on me.
I was 19 years old, and one of the classes involved this professor who seemed kinda odd. He was in his 30s at the time. He didn't look, or act, or sound gay. He was otherwise a normal guy, but every now and then, he'd say something strange that made you wonder.
Then during class, he dropped a note on my desk, while I was sitting there. It read, "How about dessert?". I was so naive back then. Looking back now, I realize why he was picking up on me, I sported a somewhat "feminine" persona. If you can imagine me being naive, happy-go-lucky, open-minded, and portraying a softer-masculinity.
As for the note, I ignored it. I realized what he was saying, but chose to pretend he didn't say it.
A couple of months later, he invited me over to his condo, where on a Sunday night, he'd have several of his friends gathered to hang out. "Ok" I said naively.
When I got there, his friends were all college students as well. This was a fun affair, just hanging out, chatting, eating some snacks. No sex or wierd stuff though. This continued for several months, and I really enjoyed myself attending these hangouts.
One night, his friends all left rather early. It was around 9:30pm, and it was just myself, and him (my college teacher). That night we all had been drinking wine, and I was buzzed. He asked me, "So what do you want to do now?". I said, "Let's watch a porno". I knew he had a porno video around, because I saw one laying around the week before. So he said, "Ok, let's go".
He got his car keys, and motioned me to leave the condo with him. I guess he didn't have the porno anymore. We drove down the road to this adult shop. On the way down, he was telling me about his sex life. He said that he learned about masturbation from an older guy. I was kinda getting "weirded out" listening to it.
We got to the adult shop, and we picked out a couple videos. I remember seeing this "total" flamed-out guy, looking and acting very feminine. He was sizing me up, and looking at me up and down. I was really uncomfortable with it.
In reality, I had been fantasizing about gay sex, wanting to have it, wanting anal sex, and doing it all. It was all part of my masturbation. I was masturbating so heavily, and thinking about gay sex always made me so horny. But here I was in an adult store, with a gay boy salivating over me, and thinking how much I wanted to get out of there.
So we drove back to my college professor's house. I sat down on the couch, and he popped in a video. He turned off the lights, and sat down on the love seat.
Then I see him undo his pants, and pull his dick out. Then I see him pull his pants off, leaving only his shirt and underwear on, with his dick poking out, and him rubbing it. I'm thinking, "Oh my God! I can't believe this!".
Then he gets up and sits down next to me and says, "Hey, relax. Just sit back and relax. So, I sit back a little, and he's undoing my pants. I think to myself, "Should I let him do this, or should I make him stop?" Instead, I just did nothing, and let him totally take over. He pulled my dick out, and sucked on it. I thought, "Oh man, this feels good". I figured I could just let him suck my cock, and I wouldn't have to do anything.
He kept trying move around, and move my pants around, so that he could get more of my cock into his mouth. He tugged at my pants, and I lifted my hips up off the couch. He pulled my pants off, and then pulled my underwear off. He had full access to my cock, and he sucked on it and up and down. I was feeling horny now. I laid all the way back, and slouched down on the couch.
He pull his shirt off, and pulled his underwear off. I decided to take my shirt off too. We were both totally naked now. His cock sucking felt so good, I was so hard in his mouth, and felt so horny. My horniness took over my conscience, like "Mr Hyde" taking over "Dr Jekyll"
He stopped, and then laid down lengthwise on the couch, and so I moved off. Then I got on top of him, face to face, straddling my cock on his thigh. I rubbed my hips up and down. At this point, I was totally into this. I remember closing my eyes in lust, breathing heavily, and just letting go.
I wanted to suck his dick. I turned around, and got into a 69 position. I lowered my face into his crotch, and put my mouth over his dick. His cock was kinda limp at this point. I sucked it and moved my head up and down. I thought to myself, "I'm actually sucking a cock!". It tasted ok, just like tasting skin. I was horny though, and I just wanted to let loose and do it all.
He was playing with my asshole all this time. Rubbing, and teasing it. I kept sucking him off. I felt his finger trying nudge its way inside my butt. He was inserting it ever so deeper with each nudge. Before too long, I could feel his knuckles hitting up against my butt cheeks. I was moving my hips round-and-round as if to tell him, "Yeah, do it, do it!".
I was bobbing my head up and down on his dick like a bitch, sucking it and stroking it with my lips. I wanted to make it cum; I wanted to suck his juice out.
He motioned for me to get up off of him. So I got up, and moved aside. He told me to wait right there. He walked out to his bedroom, and moments later came back. The lights were still off, except for the light of the television screen.
He turned me around and had me get on all fours on the couch, and then put his hand on my shoulder and told me to put my shoulders down. I felt his finger playing with my asshole. I could tell he had some kind of lube on it, because there was this brief sensation of cold. His finger kept moving in and out, and I just went about rotating my hips in approval. I figured I knew what was gonna happen.
I felt him move up closer to me; his hand rested on my butt. I felt this thing nudging up against my hole. Then I felt it push its way in, and it felt REALLY intense. I tried best as I could to relax. As he pushed his way in a little bit more, I couldn't help sounding out, "ahhhh!" as if it was painful. It wasn't painful though, just really intense is all I can describe it as.
I wasn't sure how far in he was. But he started pulling back out slowly, and it felt like I was taking a shit. Then he pushed it back in, and just repeated the process. Eventually I was taking this just fine. I was letting out these "uhhhh" sounds like a girl. I felt like a girl, and made my body move around like a girl. I was totally into this. He had his hands on my ass, and pushing his cock in and out. My cock was kinda limp, but it felt like it needed jacking really bad. I didn't touch it, however. I wanted fucking.
I don't know if he came or not. My guess is that he did, I just didn't know it. He had a condom. He got up and walked out to his bathroom. I rolled over to my side, and laid on the couch. I never did cum. I was still horny as Hell, and still feeling like a bitch. I waited for him to make his next move. I should've asked him to jack me off, but I didn't. That's what I really wanted, him making me cum.
He sat down next to me, and "encouraged me" to understand that this didn't mean I'm gay. He handed me some paper to wipe myself clean. I let out a little sigh, rolled my eyes up a little and said, "Yeah, I know". I cleaned off, and threw the paper away. He said, "Are you feeling ok?". I said, "Yeah, I really liked it". And that was the truth, I really did like it, but then again, I was still horny, not yet having cummed.
My guess is that this is how women end up feeling after sex.
I put my clothes back on, and got my stuff together, and I called it night. I got back home, and a had a great time jacking off.
Since then, he continued to invite me over for sex. Except, I found it difficult to accept. Everytime he asked I was feeling "sober", and not horny. In this state, I didn't want gay sex. I only wanted it when I felt drunk, or horny.
Every night I would jack off and relive this moment. I would image his cock driving into my ass, and me taking it like a woman. I would masturbate by rolling up my bed linens, and straddling it, pushing my hips up and down. I would pretend he was riding me, and I would actually make the same "uhhh" sounds like a girl. Being horny like this brought about a 180° change to my personality.
One time we ended up together alone in his condo again, and he wanted to go at it some more. He pulled his pants off, and started jacking himself off. Except this time I hadn't drunk anything, nor watched a porno. My point of view was totally different, and I just couldn't get myself to do it. I told him I had to leave.
One time, he called me to say that he was house sitting for a friend for three days, and wanted me to stay with him. I thought about that really carefully. I wanted to make a decision for myself, "Am I going to pursue a gay lifestyle, or am I going to be a straight guy". I chose to be a straight guy.
But in reality, I wanted gay sex everytime I felt horny. Except when I wasn't feeling horny, I just go with it. The things he did and said to me, turned me off. That's why I chose to emphasize a straight lifestyle.
Looking back, I think I probably made a good decision, but that's only because I would go on to have some great sex with women, and meet a great woman to become my wife.
I told my wife about all this too. She understood, and didn't think any less of me. That understanding is what allowed me to keep masturbating without fear of her finding out. In fact, she ultimately bought a dildo and strapon. She used to put it on, and then grab her cock, and tell me that I needed a good fucking. We had some awesome sex in those days.
I still jack off to that memory, all too often. I still fantasize about being a butt fuck bitch.
Read more about me at my other blog...
|Friday, March 21, 2008, 10:20:51 AM- Sex With My Step-Sister|
The funny thing is that the first girl I ever fucked was the girl I least expected to fuck.
This is actually a true story.
I was 16 at the time, and it was summer.
I was visiting my dad, who at this time had been divorced from my mom, and remarried to another woman. This woman had a daughter of her own who was 19 at the time.
She happened to be visiting her mother. So the two of us were spending time in the same house.
We had met each other before, but we never spent much time together. I barely knew her. But she was quite cute, quite hot, and apparently, quite horny.
As a horny 16 year old with an uncontrollable habit of jacking off, I couldn't stop checking her out. But I didn't give any thought of fucking her. Well, I did actually have visions of fucking her, but I didn't put any effort into getting there. She was my step-sister after all, and I assumed she would put me down if I tried.
So one night we were in the den watching television. The den was where I slept. She slept in the guest bedroom upstairs. But she was in the den with me because we were watching television. She was being rather playful, giving me a little tickle, and wanting to wrestle. So I obliged by wrestling back a little. She had me down on my back on the couch, and the truth was that I let her.
Having a cute hottie like her on top of me was too good of a thing to deny. My cock was getting hard, and I was trying to conceal it. I didn't want her to know she was making me hard, fearing she would reject me as her step-brother. My undies were soaked in precum.
But she grabbed my crotch, and looked me with a smile, and kissed me. I was shocked. I didn't know what to do. I was 16, I had never had anyone grab my crotch before. Her hand was making a rubbing motion.
I reached up and grabbed her boobs over her shirt. It felt awesome, even if it was her shirt.
But I told her that we shouldn't do this. I mean, we're step-siblings. It'll get us into trouble.
But she looked at me with her beautiful eyes, and her hand rubbing my crotch, she spoke to me in a very quiet and feminine voice, "But I want to".
And then she said the killer word, "please?"
I could've burst through my pants. How could I resist the charms of a cute, hot, and horny girl that was begging me to fuck her?
I put my hand on her boob again, and gave it a squeeze. She pulled up her shirt and bra and let me squeeze it hand-to-skin. She pulled off her shirt, and then motioned for me to get up and let her lay down.
I sucked her nipples. And I couldn't stop sucking her nipples. I thought, "I'm sucking a girl's nipples!". I just kept sucking them, and realized how much I really loved sucking her nipples.
She put her hand on mine and pushed it down to her pants. I undid her pants, and she lifted up her hips and let me pull them off. I took all my clothes off, and were both naked.
I so desperately wanted to eat her pussy. I had fantasized about eating pussy for so long, and I had my chance. Her pubic hairs were shaved around the bikini line, but she kept the hairs on the lips trimmed. The short hairs were quite bristly against my nose and face.
I got my face down in there and all I could think about was how stinky it was. I kept going though, and inserted my tongue between the lips and got her clit. I opened my mouth and pressed it up against the inside of her lips cause that's what I really wanted, to eat that pussy, like I was eating watermelon.
Anyways, I couldn't go on much longer. I wasn't used to the smell. I kept thinking how cool it was to be eating pussy, but the smell? I had to pull my face out of there. Eventually I would go on to eat other pussy, and learn to appreciate the "scent".
I was so nervous about fucking her. While I was eating her out, my dick got soft. I should've been hard as Hell, but the nervousness countered it. She sat up and motioned for me to lay down. Then she sucked my dick. She kept going for awhile until I was able to relax and let the horniness come over me.
When I was fully hard, she laid back down, and I stuck it in her. Honestly, at first I was worried I'd have trouble finding her hole. But I didn't. I think it was one of those things that boys think of they're fucking their first girl.
She was tight! But it was so soft, and so wet. Her pussy applied enough pressure against my cock that it wasn't taking much effort at all to make me cum. I didn't want to cum this early, I just wanted to keep on feeling that glorious pussy of hers. I had to stop for some moments to let the orgasm feeling wither away. I was basically edging the whole time.
But I ended up straying over the edge and I couldn't hold it back. I pulled my cock out and splooged all over her belly.
As I felt the orgasm pulsating, she had her hands on my back and was looking up at me with her lovely smile. I was totally exhausted and looked down at her in wonder. I looked at her for awhile, and she stared back at me. I was in love in a very big way. It felt so good to be exhausted with her. I felt like a man.
We ended up fucking every night from there on, until it was finally time for me to return home to my mom. We wrote to each other for a bit, but eventually let go.
Since then, I never saw her again. I've talked to her over the phone however several times, and we've had some e-mail exchanges as recently as a couple of years ago. But we don't talk about sex. It's strictly family now. Today, she has her husband and I have my wife. The sex we had was just something we did as teenagers that one summer.
|Saturday, March 15, 2008, 9:43:17 AM- How I Started Wanting Gay Sex|
I was 17 years old when I started playing with my butt hole.
At first, I inserted small objects, just to get an idea of what it was like. Then I graduated up to larger objects. At one time, I made a dilo by cutting off the end of a broom stick, sanding it smooth, and varnishing it.
It was when I was 18 that I got rid of these things, and just used my middle finger.
I had learned about prostate orgasms from a book on masturbation. I hadn't realized that it was possible to produce an orgasm by rubbing something other my cock. I was so horny, and so addicted to masturbation, that I eagerly wanted to experience this.
It took several attempts over several days, until I finally succeeded.
I put myself in a very awkward position. My bed was pushed up against a wall, and I would position myself upside down, with my back resting up against the wall, and my head and shoulders on the bed. My legs would dangle in front of me.
In this position, I could get a deeper penetration with my finger in a totally rested position, as well as easy access to my cock. The blood rushing to my head also made things interesting.
Applying pressure to my prostate didn't necessarily make my cock hard. It would just stay in a semi-hard state. With enough massaging, my cock would drip precum onto my chest and chin.
Continuing to rub and massage my prostate, I would get to a point where I could feel an orgasm building up, but it never built up enough to boil over into a full blown orgasm. I found that stroking my cock lightly and non-chalantly, helped it along. And that's what finally produced the orgasm.
The orgasm wasn't the normal orgasm where your groin muscles squeeze and contract beyond your control. Rather, the muscles remained relaxed, and semen would flow out of my cock instead of shooting.
One significant difference is that after the prostate orgasm finished, it still left me in a totally horny state. Compare that to a normal orgasm where I'm left exhausted with "post orgasmic chill". My sense is that the body doesn't produce prolactin to overtake the dopamine high during a prostate orgasm.
On subsequent days, I continued to masturbating my prostate, but never succeeded in producing an orgasm this way. My first prostate orgasm became my only one. But I continued to do this several times over the next several years; finger-fucking myself gave me a type of satisfaction that went really well with jacking off.
It was at that point I started fantasizing about gay sex. Thinking about a guy shoving his cock into my ass was getting me really hard and wet. This became my preferred fantasy for jacking off.
My desire for anal penetration led me to wondering how I could go about finding a partner. This was in the mid-1980s at the time, and the Internet was not around then. Instead, there was something called, "Bulletin Board Systems" or (BBS). It was similar to the Internet, but worked much differently.
Well, there was a BBS netwok called, "Matchmaker BBS", with access points all across the country. You could enter your profile, and specify if you wanted a guy or a gal. It would list out the best possible matches, and then you would send someone on that list a message.
So I set up profile saying that I wanted to find a guy. In my description, I said I was straight, 18 years old, but wanted to explore gay sex. I got a message from another 18 year old, who claimed to be straight, and also wanted to explore gay sex.
We exchanged written fantasies to each other for several weeks, where we talked about the things we would do to each other. It made for great jack off material. I fantasized about him every day. Finally, I wrote to him saying that he should give me a phone call. I never heard back from him.
I kept having this fantasy that we would meet in a bar or restaurant, get to know each other, and not have any expectations. Then we'd leave and get into his car. I'd reach over to him and place my hand on his leg. He'd look at me, and then I rub his crotch. He would remain still, and I would try to undo his pants. Then I'd grab his cock lightly, and stroke it gently. I'd hear him let out a "Uhhh" sound. And I'd jack him off until he came.
But that just a fantasy.
I'll never know if he was actually 18 years old like me, straight like me, and wanting to explore gay sex like me.
Read more about me at my other blog...
|Thursday, March 13, 2008, 7:30:24 AM- Fascination with Precum|
In grade school, we were taught sex education, and learned about semen, ejaculation, and how babies are made.
But we were never taught about precum.
I suppose it wasn't necessary to go into that level of detail.
But for whatever reason, I've found precum to be quite fascinating.
Imagine my surprise when I was 11 years old, and having just discovered masturbation, that this thick clear liquid was oozing out of my cock. "What is this?" I wondered. It was something that only occurred after edging for awhile.
To me, precum is the essence of horniness. It only comes out when you're horny as Hell, so, it's like liquid horniness.
As long as I can remember, I've eaten my own precum. After edging for about 30-60 minutes, it would flow out at a constant rate that I could use it as lube, or wipe up droplets every 10-15 seconds and suck it off my finger.
I remember on my first date, at the age of 14, sitting with this girl and my cock dripping furiously. We weren't doing much of anything aside from chatting, but I was anxiously horny.
My precum doesn't have a lot of taste, but it does have some taste. I'd say there's a slight sweetness to it, and faint musky scent.
In recent years, with my digital camera, I found a hobby in photographing precum. I like REALLY close up shots. It's tought to get a focused, detailed shot, because digital cameras require an absolute still subject, particularly at the "digital macro" setting. I need to get a digital camera with Image Stabilization.
I like getting photos showing a droplet pushing the tiny lips of the penis opening apart.
When I'm horny as hell, I could suck a cock that leaks precum at a constant rate, and suck it for quite a long time.
Taking that precum into my body is like drawing that "liquid horniness" into my body, and having it effect my psyche.
|Wednesday, March 12, 2008, 3:01:19 AM- The Age of Influence|
I remember a moment when I was 9 years old, I had this friend Bobby. He was the same age as I, and we knew each other because we had the same class in 4th grade.
Bobby and I were kinda similar in that we grew up as divorced kids, living only with our moms. And our moms had to work evenings, so we spent quite a bit of time alone at night.
For both of us, our moms were our fathers. But they didn't raise us to be feminine. They pushed us hard to be strong and successful, trying to compensate us for not having real fathers. It worked to a degree, but that heavy pushing instilled a streak of submission into us.
That pushing also made us reach deep into ourselves for peace and comfort. I think that's where the roots of sexuality come from. The more load you shoulder, the deeper you dig inside yourself. As you get used to opening those doors, it leads to more exploration.
I had not yet discovered masturbation at that time, but that doesn't mean I wasn't enjoying self-pleasure. When mom was gone, I enjoyed being naked inside and outside the house. I pretended to be a bad boy with my nudity, but not wanting get into trouble.
My friend Bobby and I shared a similar psyche. Except his mom didn't seem to be as aggressive as mine. It seemed like she just wanted him to be smart and successful, not necessarily aggressive like my mom wanted me to be. But he shared the same submissiveness that I had. He liked kinky things just as with any other boy, but wanted to explore it further, just like me.
I remember one specific moment when our friendship reached a point of bonding. It was when I was visiting his house, just after school. His mom was getting ready to leave for work. Bobby and I were in his room, looking at his mom's Playgirl magazines. He wanted to show me the photos of naked men and their penises. He thought it was funny, but he clearly had a fascination with it. I enjoyed it too, though not saying it flat out.
His mom knew we were "reading" her Playgirls, and in fact smiled at us as she hugged and kissed Bobby goodbye. She left us there flipping through the Playgirls. We continued on with amazement and wonder of the photos.
We experienced erections during all this. We laughed about going "boing" inside our pants. We were old enough to know about sex, but still young enough to maintain innocence.
I don't know if Bobby masturbated at that young age. I don't recall him talking about it. I didn't discover masturbation until a couple years later.
Bobby and I continued this "secret" activity of going into his room to look at Playgirl magazines, get our jollies over our boners, and giggle at the "funny" stuff adults did. Now and then, we'd walk home from school and he'd tell me about the newest Playgirl magazine his mom received.
At the time, I didn't consider Bobby to be gay. I didn't even understand homosexuality at the age of 9. I'm not even sure if Bobby was gay, just a kid like me, with a fascination for being naughty in a sexual way.
My mom and I moved away a year later, and I never saw Bobby again. I wonder what he's like now. Is he just like me right now? Is he a masturbation addict? Does he love to be dominated? Would he like to jack-off together?
|Saturday, March 8, 2008, 10:00:38 AM- The First Time I Masturbated|
I was 11 years old when I discovered masturbation.
At the time, I was in bed in the morning, thinking about what it would be like to fuck a girl. Pretty much what any 11 year old boy might think about.
I tried to simulate the feeling by grasping my cock with my hand, and sliding it up and down, as if it were a pussy. It felt good, and then the magical orgasm occurred.
I didn't really know about orgasms until then. I had, however, learned of them in sex education classes, but it never hit home with me because the whole concept of orgasm went over my head. It wasn't until I had one, that I began to understand.
I didn't ejaculate at all that first time. I'd go on to jack off several times each day, recreating the same sensation. It wasn't until about a few weeks later, that I ejaculated for the first time. I knew what it was when it came out, but I didn't expect it. Being a naive little 11 year old, I was simply exploring uncharted waters, and accepted whatever happened.
My sexual escapades actually started earlier than that. I can remember back to when I was 9 years old, and enjoying being naked.
My dad was in the Navy, and often times was away from home for several months each year. My mom worked during the day to bring in some more income. There would be about 3 hours each day from when I arrived home from school, to when she got home from work. I would spend those hours exploring nakedness.
I'd go outside and try to walk completely around the house, while naked, without being seen. I liked the feeling of being outside nude, and I liked being such a little "bad boy".
But at age 9, I didn't know about masturbation and orgasms. Being naked and enjoying it was like masturbation back then.
Once I did have my first orgasm, I went on to spend just about every day pursuing orgasms. Most days I jacked off three times a day, once when I woke up, once after school, and once when I went to bed. Some days I'd sneak in fourth jack off.
After I had my first ejaculation, I had to keep tissue paper handy in my bedroom. The problem was that I didn't normally keep tissue paper in my bedroom. I didn't want to keep a box of tissue paper there, because I knew my mom and dad would suspect something going on, and I didn't want them to know.
So, each night I would grab a bunch of toilet paper from the bathroom, and place it under my pillow. After I came, I would use about half of it. In the morning, after I came again, I would use the other half.
I didn't want to throw the used toilet paper in my bedroom waste basket, because I know my mom would find it all. And, I didn't want to place it on my nightstand, because my mom would sometimes walk in to check on me.
So, I would scrunch up the used toilet paper and hide it under my pillow. Then in the morning, I would pull it out, walk to the bathroom and flush it down the toilet. I didn't want to flush it down the toilet at night, because it wasn't normal for me to use the bathroom after I had gone to bed, and I didn't want my parents to suspect anything.
At the time, I thought I was one of a few kids who masturbated. I don't know how many boys at age 11 were masturbating, but I was convinced I was the only one. In reality, I'm sure many of my friends were doing it.
The good thing was that I was an only child up until age 12. And after that, I still had privacy because we had separate bedrooms.
I had friends that had several brothers and sisters. I imagine they had difficulty jacking off due to little privacy.
|Friday, March 7, 2008, 10:04:56 AM- This is Lonely Weenie|
I'm married, but lonely.
My wife and I are in our early 40s, but sex these days doesn't happen anymore. My wife has some health problems that has robbed her of her sex drive.
So, it's jacking off for me.
She doesn't mind me jacking off, she knows I'm doing it, but she realizes that I need to take care of business. I usually go into our spare bedroom so that she can sleep in peace, and I can edge for a couple of hours and work up a big cum. Often times, I just go to sleep in the spare bedroom afterwards.
I'd love to find a jack-off buddy, and take this masturbation thing to a higher level. Jacking off by myself is always fun, but I need some interaction.
The problem is that I don't want to do this behind my wife's back. She's been so good to me over the years, supporting me when I'm wrong, and always helping me when I need it. And since her loss of sex drive isn't necessarily her fault, I can't breach the high level of trust she has put into me. Somehow, I gotta find a way to talk to her about it. I just don't know how.
Over the years, she has actually been very supportive of my kinkiness. She doesn't mind me staying naked all day long, and she doesn't mind my outdoor nudity either. She didn't mind me finding a buddy to hang out nude at the beach. I'm just not certain if she'd support my wanting to give and receive orgasms with other guys.
I don't want to start a relationship with other guys, I just want to cum. No Christmas cards, no dinners, just orgasmic interaction on a regular basis.
I'll post more stuff about myself in subsequent posts.
I also have another blog, which I have basically laid out all the same stuff...
But since NBN offers a blog with this account, I thought I'd use it.
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