My Final Thought: |
The meaning of life is...
Hi sweet sissy wissy girly boy. I know how it is to keep this sissy panty feeling inside. We are for the most part hetros that love women, and love eating pussy and being together and such. But still there is this innate part of who we are. I don't know where it comes from, but I do know it is such a deep side of what makes us be what we are. It starts early in life. For me I had these feelings by the time i was 8 years old. Seeing mom walking around in her full cut panties and bras, seeing sis walk around in her full length slip. I would wonder why they wore those lovely heavenly garments and us boys were condemned to uninteresting yucky underthings.
We begin early in our existence, that irresistible need to wear panties and lingerie. That thrill we get needing, not just wanting, but needing to wear girly things. Soft gentle lacy pink diaphanous feminine girly objects. Panties for me are that girly garment that surrounds a womans most sacred part. The part that makes a woman so womanly. The part that brings us all into this world. The feelings we have just for panties are fascinating. It rules us. It makes us do such shameful things even against our will. Like "borrow" panties from mom, sis, friends etc. The shame only builds the desire deeper. The desire only builds the shame. That shame also causes us to periodically swear off the need to do this. After a sweet encounter with those special underthings you realize that yes now you are done. Reveling in the shame, and therefore the added strength it gives you to finally know that this is the moment you have finally let your rational side win over. You look at all that lingerie almost with disdain. A disdain that helps u separate from all your "girlfriends" that have given you so much sissy pleasure. You pick up your favorite panty, you really wonder if you can part from her for a moment, but in that deep shame, and in the momentary power of rationality caused by just having released, you tell her in your mind, honey sweet lacy pink panty, its time to go, you know its time to part ways, I no longer need you, your grip on me is gone forever. You gather all those garments and put them in the bag and start to strategize how you will offload this sissy burden. You have a few feelings of nostalgia, but nowhere near strong enough to overcome your newfound power to battle those sissy feelings. And so it goes. Sometimes I could eschew this feeling for a week, often for a month, sometimes up to two months. But then it might be the sunday lingerie ads, or a glimpse of VPL, or the inevitable foray into a dept. store for one errand or another. and then . . .
Walking by a lingerie dept at Sears or Mervins or walmart or pennies (kind of like panties). Its a magnet. A lure. something that gets stronger the closer we get to it. Even when entering a dept store we have never been in, immediately the mind starts to think about where the lingerie is. Your mind and eyes scan and scan and scan. Usually it only takes moments to already get a good feeling of where that lingerie might be. We can even be with a gf or friend or mom, and still that radar switches on and we are trying to figure it out. Often its not on this floor, and you try to figure out which floor it is, and once u figure it out, you find an excuse to go to that floor, no matter how flimsy. Then there you are, on that floor, doesn't take but a moment to know where to go. Even in our mind we pretend like its no big deal, but our mind begins to fantasize all those panties, bras, slips, camisoles, garters, pantyhose, girdles, and the plethora of girly undergarments. I even fantasize being accidently locked in for the night, all alone, no way to get out, and you make the best of it. You spend the whole night in girly sissy wonderment. You know that you should stand up and be a man, but that need, yes need, to wear girly things is overwhelming. It makes you all of a sudden just let go, and you start to put those girly things on. Sometimes I will put on 5 or 6 panties at once, and a bra and then a camisole and then a blouse, or a full length slip, which goes over the half slip you already have on which is over the sweet girly panties you are wearing. Yes those panties that so delicately surround womanhood. Those panties that protect a lady from the outside world. Those panties that collect her yummies that are produced all the time, that have that amazing lure. We cant help it. We just have to wear.
I now wear 24/7 those girly panties. Panties with lace, nice and pink usually, but sometimes white, sometimes peach, sometimes other colors, but always they make me feel so so deeply girly. I feel the shame of it, and it makes me want it even more. It makes me feel calmer, takes away that aggressive male edge that i don't really like. This kind of sissy feeling only a guy can feel, and that is why i like to sometimes share this with another panty sissy wissy girly boy. I hope this makes sense to you, as It does help me understand this feeling to a certain degree. I will never be able to rid myself of this, and so have given into it. I wonder if this all is so for others. giggle
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