It was not long after we got married, that my wife told me of the time she was so pissed off with her first husband, that she served him up a meal including a cucumber she has just fucked herself with - and watched him consume it, much to her delight. I told her that I would like to have witnessed that, and so she duly took one we had in the fridge and masturbated with it as I watched. I was so turned on, I wanked myself off as she rammed the cold green vegetable in and out of her shaved vagina, occasionally pulling it out from between her labia for us both to take bites of it. I eventually spunked between her legs and then licked her cold smooth lips clean as she came on my face.
In Scotland there is a drink called a Whisky-Mac, consisting of a measure of green ginger wine and whisky. I invented a cum-laden version of this called a Spunky-Mac, in to which I would shoot a load of my creamy sperm, before swallowing the contents. Delicious.
One summer, with family present for an al-fresco picnic my wife and I decided to get kinky with the food again. She duly pulled off her panties and fucked herself to orgasm with a sizeable cucumber, then sliced it into a salad bowl. I then duly pulled out my penis and wanked myself off over the bowl, adding several strings of my cum as salad dressing. We then had the immense pleasure of watching the rest of the family consume their food with our cunt juice and sperm salad.

What I'd love to know (as I sit here wanking my shaved sissy penis in panties and cock rings as I write) is, what kinky ways do you all like to enjoy your cum and food?