MoniqueMyers:
You've obviously not been paying attention: as I mentioned in a posting a few months ago, I make my pic postings from a separate account. Originally this was accidental, but once I started to make comments here I decided to keep the split.
JoannaSlinky:
There's a huge difference between cross-dressing and drag: cross-dressing is dressing up as someone of the opposite gender for sexual purposes, while drag is dressing up as someone of the opposite gender to question, parody, appropriate or challenge gender roles, either to make a political point or for entertainment purposes ("genderfuck", if you like). Cross-dressing is inner-directed - you do it to make yourself feel good - while drag is outer-directed - it's done to get a reaction out of other people. This is why cross-dressing mostly happens in the privacy of people's homes, while drag is unimaginable without an audience. I know several drag queens, and even briefly dated one, and not one of them regards women's clothing as part of their sexual repertoire. Gay men (and some lesbians) use drag for comic or political purposes, but if you show a gay man a bra and panties it is most likely to turn him off. (There is a separate paragraph to be written about older guys who think they're "bi" and about societies with a pre-modern conception of sexuality, where gender-inappropriate dressing has other connotations, but I'm going to skip that.)
As I remarked in an earlier post, cross-dressers are (by and large) not subject to the opprobrium that gay men and lesbians face every day of their lives. For most cross-dressers, the bra and panties thing is a kinky little secret that they do at home, and which does not exclude them from a normal and (in the sociological sense of the word) heterosexually "privileged" existence. The vast majority of cross-dressers using this website are overtly straight in their daily lives, and thus don't suffer the overt, covert, or sometimes tacit discrimination that lesbians and gay men do. Cross-dressing for most of you is just a "walk on the wild side", but at the end of the day, probably shortly after you've cum, you go back to your side of the divide. This is not the experience of the gay men who (used to) use this site, which is why the two groups are incompatible. It's no good saying "but I've got nothing against gay people" or "but we all want to look at cock together": by coming in here dressed up as women you are, whether you like it or not, pushing the socially privileged idea that "men have sex with women" (or, if you're playing with your wives, possibly "women have sex with women", though scanning through a few profiles suggests to me that for most of you cross-dressing is a vice you prefer not to mention to your partners). By coming in here, you are automatically importing the privilege of heterosexuality into a space that most earlier users of the site took to be targeted at gay men. To be frank, I find your suggestion that the existence of a "lingerie" category here should be interpreted as an invitation to cross-dressers to be disingenuous: I can see why you're making the case, and I see your reasoning, but my own view is that you're using a legalism to argue against the original intent of the site creators. Given that there are (as other threads in the forum note) plenty of other sites that do target cross-dressers, it seems to me somewhere between thoughtless and selfish to invade what was originally (a while ago) fairly self-evidently a gay site. The gay community suffers from this all the time: there are plenty of gay bars that have now been invaded by straights wanting to be fashionable, or are now full of drunken women pawing at gay men and trying to "convert" them.
By coming in here, you have taken something that was gay, and turned it into something else. I'm realistic enough to understand that the damage probably can't be undone, and I recognise that some cross-dressers get a particular kick out of showing themselves off where they can shock and upset others, which is why when someone complained about lingerie postings in the "mature" category someone else deliberately missed the point to say that they were "mature lingerie". I do know that it is extremely difficult for the non-privileged to explain their experience to the privileged in a society - if you are black, or gay, or a woman, it is virtually impossible to explain what it's like, and the particular disadvantages and discriminations that go with it, to someone who is white, or someone who is heterosexual, or someone who is male - but the point remains: you have taken somewhere that was gay, and, for your own reasons and without consultation with the original community, you have destroyed it. Sure, there's now a bunch of cross-dressers here, but only at a cost. Suggestions that "we can all just live together" seem to me to be based on an incomprehension. I don't believe cross-dressers have very much in common with gay men: you think in terms of sexual interaction in a way that privileges heterosexuality, while we necessarily prefer homosexuality. Your view is not the same as ours, and in pushing your view here you have destroyed something that was ours. If I'd done that, I'd be ashamed.
)
